.. su única princesa de puerco ..

2.25.2005

a pig's life

ahh.. feeling slightly better today.. cept for an nudging pain in my ribs which i have no idea why..
i've totally wasted my term break being sick and all..
spent the days sleeping.. eating and sleeping..
haa.. the days of a pig...
i'm gonna hafta start mugging once term starts again..
which is... *counts with fingers..* in 3 days.. dang!!

listening to Shinhwa's song "Brand New" now..
minwoo's voice is sexy.. but not as sexy as HYESUNG's~~ haha..
he's my baby... *1, 2, 3, 4 back to the 1, 2.. 1, 2, 3, 4 back to the yeah~*
haha.. im so lame today.. guess its cause i'm not back in the correct mental state..
but then again.. when was i ever in the correct mental state..

oh yeah.. im out of depression state already.. fast, eh? hehe..
im now preparing for stressed state.. with all the uni work and all..
i need to start searching for a job to keep myself busy during May/June..
haa.. hope to find some slacker's job that pays really well..
which is what everyone is looking for, isnt it?? haha..
best if i can get to go overseas while i'm on the job!! but that's impossible..
haha.. but dreams can come true.. so u never know!!

anyways.. i read an article in yesterday's papers.. about SG females getting bigger and more visible tattoos..
i think that's pretty cool.. i plan on getting one for my 21st birthday too...
but shhhhh!!! dont tell my mom.. she'll slaughter me if she knows..
but then again.. my 21st birthday is more than a year later..
so maybe by the time its here, i might not want to get it already.. haha..
still thinking wat to get for my 20th birthday still...
tragus piercing?? belly piercing?? or just another earhole...??
i think belly will hafta go.. too fat.. dont look nice..
i'll probably go for the tragus one.. just pray that it'll heal before mom sees it..

okie dokes.. that's all for this entry i guess...
kinda lazy to type further.. going to watch some cartoons..
bye~~~

Princess Hyuain â¢ ranted
@ 2/25/2005 02:34:00 PM

2.23.2005

im dying

damnit.. im awake again cause of gastric.. its killing me..
just when i thought i could get a good night's sleep..
i even had two slices of white bread before i went to bed yesterday...
oh man... it is worse than yesterday's... shit...
blog more later today.. cant stand the pain anymore..

Princess Hyuain â¢ ranted
@ 2/23/2005 04:23:00 AM

2.22.2005

gastric pains

goddamnit... im swearing again...
just got up from bed cause i couldnt bear the pain caused by my gastric..
i just dont understand.. i do eat my meals regularly..
so why has it came back to look for me?? f***...
it hurts sooo much.. i just feel like dying..
even the 2 slices of white bread and 3 wheat biscuits i just ate dint help..
wats more, even my almighty warm water is starting to lose its effects... damnit..

at this point of time, i need that special someone more than ever...
just someone to take care of me.. cuddle me and tell me i'll be ok soon..
but god knows where has he disappeared to..
anyways.. i sent him an email yesterday.. havent gotten a reply yet..
dont even know if i am EVER going to get a reply also...
i just hafta wait.. just till tomorrow.. if there's no reply.. im giving up officially...
and by the way.. i asked another specimen of the male species..
on the calling thing.. u know, the guy asking the girl to call back...?
yep.. so he kinda made a very good statement..
that is, when i said the guy could have at least sent an SMS to the girl...
he told me... why bother with SMS when he could call? so he could've been really really busy...
quite true... but then again, it might be the work of him protecting his kind...

sis told me that she's so not proud of me.. but who cares?
one reason why i cant be bothered to tell her matters of the heart...
u'll just get brutally stabbed.. by ur own sister.. and she'll call u 'stupid diputs'...
or something like that.. i couldnt really catch the back cause its another crap of hers...

going to take some medicine.. cant stand it anymore..
now i just wanna disembowel myself to relief my pain... f***...

Princess Hyuain â¢ ranted
@ 2/22/2005 04:29:00 AM

2.20.2005

empty promises

haa... today's sunday... supposed to be a bright and sunny day...
not a day to be spent... depressed...

anyways.. i was really pissed on Sat.. which is, yesterday...
supposed to meet a guy to watch chingay together..
then he said, he'll be busy all the way till 7.. so why not go for dinner instead...
ok.. fine.. i said ok.. and guess wat...?
he SMSed and said that he cant make it for dinner too..
thanks a lot dude... and i was looking forward to leaving this empty nest...
empty promises... oh, how i hate them so....
he said he'll make it up to me.. i guess im going to hafta wait a million years...
and it probably would not happen...
'million sorries sweetie..'... oh please, spare me that....
oh, wat happened to the optimistic huiyan that everyone knew?? gone....
but... just for a while.. just until huiyan gets back on her feet...
to all those who care.. dont worry... huiyan's a strong girl...
she'll be back to kick some really sorry asses soon...

oh well... yesterday's yesterday... watched Constantine with Baoyan and Binghui..
nice show... but there's alot of things.. that i might not, and never, understand...
BUT... wat matters most is... Keanu Reeves was sooooo handsome.. *winks..*
then Binghui treated the both of us to Swensen's!! *woot-woot!!*
really nice of him.. but he was like some animal that had been deprived of food for many days..
ordered baked rice and spaghetti... all for himself!!
but of course, the girls knew how to steal food...
wait, we knew how to help ourselves to the food sounds more appropriate..
and boy, it was good~ and i had a bowl of soup.. all to myself~!! hehe..
and saw a little preview of chingay.. so it somehow appeased my anger of not watching chingay LIVE..
BUT!! im still pissed.. i missed out on soooo much...
i could've sat there and enjoyed the atmosphere.. even party after the whole parade..
oh wateva.. i cant possibly reverse time..

i think i'll end here for today... meeting Baoyan to study later in the evening..
after my driving lessons.. which is about 6.. so we'll be going for dinner first..
going to bed now.. take care people..
and.. take care, huiyan..........................

Princess Hyuain â¢ ranted
@ 2/20/2005 02:26:00 AM

2.17.2005

its the hols

blog blog blog....
these few days... i've been blogging quite often eh..?
maybe cause i've got nothing to do in the school's library....

wanted to have a drink tonight..
cause next week's the recess period and there's no school...
so i wanna have a major studying session... for the whole of the week...
and since i've no school tmr... recess officially starts tmr...
so... tonight's the last night i've got to slack.... before i concentrate on my studies...
i've gotta do well for this stupid semester...
hafta get an honours of at least 2nd upper...

but..........................
there seems like there's no one free to go out drinking.....
why? why? why????
the girls are busy with their FYPs... the guys..?
most of them are in army... so... they cant go drinking on weekdays...
they're only granted freedom on weekends and holidays...
but even so... they can kenna confinement... and... bye bye weekends... LoL
i'm being mean heh?
doesnt matter.. since im not a male..... LoLz..

maybe i should go drinking by myself tonight...
but its so weird to be drinking by yourself...
wat if i kenna harassed by horny old men?? haaa.... wateva...
i'll see about it... since its still quite early... its only 11 plus in the morning...
i've still got time in the afternoon to go jio pple...

alrite... goin home now... this is soooo sian....

Princess Hyuain â¢ ranted
@ 2/17/2005 11:19:00 AM

2.16.2005

eric's birthday

haa.. once again.. im in the school library.. blogging..
stupid computers dont let me log on to msn... freaks..
said something like, i need to upgrade msn messenger to use it..
wat stupid excuse.. and it has freaking lousy mouses...
cant navigate properly... damnit.. i hate it when things dont go my way...

so its the 16th Feb already.. today is Eric's (from Shinhwa) birthday..
Saeng iL Chookha Hae, Eric Oppa.. many happy returns on ur 26th birthday..

i'm still feeling a little nostalgic from v-day..
this year's is a total let-down.. i really wonder how big a failure am i in the L.O.V.E. thingy..
but my guess is... pretty big.. i can just jump down a building.. but i wont..
i know ur hoping that i will.. but i wont.. bleh~

i think that's all for today, yah? i dont really have anything to write about anyway..
aitez.. peace, out!

Princess Hyuain â¢ ranted
@ 2/16/2005 12:30:00 PM

2.15.2005

sad valentine's

haa.. so i've been told i update tooooooooo slowly... ok... but wat can i do if i procrastinate alot...??
having alot of problems lately.. mostly problems regarding this thing called L.O.V.E. .....
i so hate it now.. but i cant hate it for long..
much as i wish, no one would read this post.. too embarressing... but wateva..
i just hafta let it all out...

yesterday was valentine's day.. a rather disappointing one..
it was the consequtive 20th year of spending it as a single..
anyway.. went out with baoyan.. drank this Lemon Chuhai thingy at a sake bar..
its a sake cocktail drink.. not bad, i must say..
but the heart is still bitter..

last sat, i had this really choking feeling.. felt i couldnt breathe..
dint dare to go to bed for fear i might die in my sleep..
till it got better at about 3 plus in the morning..
its probably due to the L.O.V.E. thing..
this guy i like... promised to call me on saturday..
but the whole day went by... without a call from him..
everytime the phone rings, i wished it was him.. but it turned out otherwise..
such a disappointment.. heart felt so shattered..
the least he could have done was SMS me.. right?
was feeling so bad the whole day that everyone seemed to have a grudge against me..
or rather, i had a grudge against everyone..
went to tcc after a mini quarrel with mom on the bus..
ordered a raspberry latte.. it tasted so bitter.. even after i added 3 packets of white sugar..
after that, my tummy ached.. damnit..
went to Heartland Mall to find the crazy friend of mine.. that stupid serena...
she wanted to spend a freakin $20 on just 2 hours of K-Boxing.. stupidity..
in the end, we bought lime juice and went to a playground in Hougang and chatted till 11 plus..
really thankful that i have her.. i tell her things i dont want others to know..
but of course, there will still be some things i'll keep to myself..
i told her abt this guy.. let's call him C-zai.. in case i need to refer to him...
but i wont tell u abt C-zai.. its for me to know.. and perhaps a selected few..
and of course.. the lime juice tasted bitter too..

sunday........
screwed up during my driving lesson cause i was still so pissed..
i hate being disappointed....
i rather someone be honest to me and tell me straight in the face wat they want..
and not let me guess..... i hate it so very much.....
so well... lesson ended.. and much as i hate being initiative...
i SMSed him to express my unhappiness...
and he replied.. saying he was down with a flu and...
he meant to call, but ended up sleeping the whole day away..
heh! too much of a coincidence... no?
like i said before.... he could have sent an SMS..
its not that difficult to press a few keys on the phone.. right?
haa...

monday... the oh-so-lovey-dovey day...
heart pains to see couples walking hand in hand on the streets...
wonder why am i not part of it...
am i that bad...? i think i should just die....
anyways... i SMSed him... again, its me taking the initiative...
SMS to ask if he's free to have dinner that night..
so after a few minutes... he FINALLY called....
i was hestitant on whether to answer or just hang up...
i was afraid of hearing the contents.. i wanted to avoid disappointment too...
in the end, i chose to answer cause i missed hearing his voice....
and.. i was brutally pushed down the mountain that i had overcomed so many obstacles to scale...
ouch.. it hurts so much..
he told me he wasnt free cause he had a video-conference with pple from the US..
told me i sounded upset through the SMS i sent on sunday..
also, he had to fly around frequently cause of his work..
and that he'll most probably be in town for a week each month...
i understand.. i throughly do...
he was the first to express that he's interested.. so why is he doing this now?
i totally regret meeting him...
perhaps if we didn't meet... i'd still be the carefree-ole-me...

so like i mentioned before.. spent the night with baoyan..
reached home at about 11.40 pm.. and dad was still up..
went to my room.. booted up the comp and chatted with my 3 love consultants..
knew them from the net.. so i felt more comfy telling them this cause i dont really know them..
and they dont know me personally.. let me have a sense of security...
and it was sweet of them... each and every one told me that things will be fine..
each had his/her own point of view... thou all 3 told me that C-zai was interested..
one said, i shouldnt have taken the initiative for men like to chase, and not be chasen..
to forget him.. and let him do the chasing... if it ever happens...
another said that she'd bring me on her business trips if she was C-zai..
perhaps... its all to console me.. to soothe this broken heart..
and i appreciate their efforts in doing so...
i ended up asking them if they felt i was stupid... for i truely felt that i was..
they said no.. its only human to have feelings..
some things just happen.. you can do nothing to avoid it...

and so.. i've decided to shut my doors.. refrain from meeting new pple..
till i get over him.. perhaps i never stood a chance since the beginning..
i dont know.. now, i'm just waiting for a call to affirm my status..
perhaps it would never come.. this world is full of uncertainties..
i'm too tired to try to guess.. right now, i'll be strong..
everything will be ok... thats what everyone says and wat i'd follow...

C-zai's flying to NYC today for business...
i'm just hoping he'll call me when he's back.. but...

Princess Hyuain â¢ ranted
@ 2/15/2005 12:34:00 PM