.. su única princesa de puerco ..

8.29.2005

missing avril

OMG~ im missing that woman already..
wonder how's she doing now??
has she settled down in her hotel yet??
eaten her dinner already?? explored the place yet??
argh... i cant wait till i see her again..
and that better be some time soon!

Princess Hyuain â¢ ranted
@ 8/29/2005 11:22:00 PM

8.27.2005

whatever

you never have time for me..
you have never bothered about me..
i doubt you have ever cared about me..
you said you dont wanna go suntec..
but yet, you can go there with your friends..
but with me, you dont want to..
am i that unworthy..?
and right now, you're 'whatever'ing me..
so thats what im gonna do from now on..
since its 'whatever' for you.. i'll just go with 'whatever'..
dont.ever.call.me.anymore... dont.bother.smsing.either..
not that you bothered to sms anyway..
for we're no longer related.. since you've become 'whatever' to me..

i think even if im dead, you wont even shed a tear..
so here's to 'whatever'..

goodbye..

Princess Hyuain â¢ ranted
@ 8/27/2005 02:23:00 PM

drinking with Yean baby

went drinking with my darling Yean baby yesterday..
also with my eunice dar, gwen darling and the ever cute karen..
jason baby was there for a while too.. but had to leave early cuz he need to go do installation..
and actually it wasnt much of drinking..
i drank only a small glass of vodka ribena.. and the rest was just plain ribena.. but the ribena is super diluted.. not nice..
and it was more of catching up with each other..
knowing what the rest are doing these days, esp Yean..

well.. throughout the whole drinking thing, i was thinking of someone..
but i dont even know whether i came to his mind all the while..
no calls, no sms.. and he promised to call..
he never keeps to his words.. maybe i should just treat his words as plain jokes.. never take them seriously..
cuz he can only talk.. but he will never do as he said..
since he cant be bothered with me, i shall not be bothered with him..
i really think i mean nothing.. not even worth mentioning i guess..

anyway, spent some time playing The Sims 2 since i woke up today..
actually woke up a few times..
at 4am, played some online games.. then at 8am again, went out to snooze on my sofa.. and finally at 10am..
i dunno why i keep looking at my phone..
the first time i woke up at 4, i check my phone..
no msgs.. no missed calls.. no nothing..
8am.. nothing.. 10am till now... NOTHING!!
and yesterday night while out, i still msg him!!
that goes to show how 'bothered' he is with me, huh??

oh well.. since im nothing, so be it..
shall go get some hw done.. then prepare some stuff..
haa.. laters..

Princess Hyuain â¢ ranted
@ 8/27/2005 12:39:00 PM

8.22.2005

im ok

im ok ler.. dont worry too much abt me..
really glad to know that there are so many people around who cares so much for me...
im really grateful to all you pple..
but i guess i hafta take back the earlier post..
cuz somehow.. we're back together again..
sorry for making all you guys worry..
and im really very thankful..
to people like nana, who herself is on the road to recovery but yet she still went out of her way to tag me.. then my eunice dar n gwen darling, telling me to think happy thoughts.. and also echo who gave me advice thru msn n her blog..
really wanna thank all you pple who stood by me..
i'll be strong!! this i promise you!!
i love all of you~!

Princess Hyuain â¢ ranted
@ 8/22/2005 10:20:00 PM

single

i guess.. im officially single again..
this time.. its for real since he has not disagreed with it..
after 2 months and 2 days.. our show has finally ended..
thank you people..
i hope you enjoyed it as much as i did..

Princess Hyuain â¢ ranted
@ 8/22/2005 08:05:00 AM

8.21.2005

lost

eating the egg tarts that mom just bought..
it doesnt taste the same like those before.. not as sweet as i'd thought it would be..
instead.. it was salty.. and bitter..
perhaps its those 2 particular egg tarts that taste so odd..
or is it just me.....

had a talk with mom n sis this morning over breakfast..
i seldom talk to her about my problems.. but today, i told her..
and today.. i cried in front of her.. and im still crying..
it seems as though these tears would never stop..
i have been keeping alot of things to myself..
too much for me to bear already.. and today, i finally broke down..
mom told me that i must be strong..
im trying very hard.. but i just cant keep it up anymore..
its really very tiring doing so..
all along.. i was wearing a mask.. trying to hide myself..
putting up a show in front of my family..

im feeling so lost right now..
i have totally lost all sense of directions..
i am breaking down... but did you even sense it....?

Princess Hyuain â¢ ranted
@ 8/21/2005 04:45:00 PM

redundant

i feel so.. redundant..
feel like im just another ornament on the shelf..
looked at once in a while..
but the rest of the time, its being forgotten..

someone once asked me, "would you hold the hands of your gf/bf while out with your family members?"
for that person, the answer was.. "cannot imagine myself doing that.."
like its so wrong to hold the hands of the one you love..
discussed with a few others.. the answers they gave me...
was a big positive 'yes' ..
my answer would also be 'yes' ..
you dont expect your gf/bf to be feeling all left out while with your family members... or do you....?
perhaps.. the partner is someone that he aint proud of..
if that's the case... then why did you bother going out with him/her??
only to leave them hanging by the edge of the cliff...
and at the very precise moment, step on the poor aching fingers which are trying very hard to pull himself or herself to safety..
instead of lending a hand and saving them....
is it just to let yourself have some form of accomplishment??
that you have just sent another person..
to fall into a dark hole.. shattering them.. leaving them all alone..?

my guess is.. this person would not even bother to initiate to hold the gf/bf's hands..
even while they're out together, they'd probably be....
walking a distance away from each other..
unlike all the other couples around them.. who are either holding hands or just grabbing each other's waist and just walking blissfully together..
this couple would be quiet while they're out..
while other couples are talking happily to each other..
even if the partner makes an effort to go down to that person's place..
he or she would probably be watching tv alone, playing games on the mobile phone, or lazying around doing nothing..
while the other just goes about doing things that he/she wants to do..
the partner would probably be hoping that the person would go out with him or her when he/she went over to that person's place..
but in the end, gets ignored.. and left aside till god knows wat time..
and dates would probably be initated by the partner..
and it would end up with him/her getting really broken-hearted..
and feeling totally worthless..

i really pity the partner..
who is probably someone i call 'ME' ...

i keep telling myself that i must be strong..
but in actual fact.. im already falling into pieces..

Princess Hyuain â¢ ranted
@ 8/21/2005 03:58:00 AM

8.20.2005

sea of love

hmm.. juz got back home.. and removed my makeup..
quite tired but i shall blog.. cuz its a happy day..
today was our 2nd month.. wanted to go eat Carl's Jr but..
i got the wrong info.. fault's on my part..
so in the end, we ate at Swensen's..

after that.. we practically did nothing lar..
just walked around.. ended up going to his place for mahjong..
haa.. lost money.. but thank god he covered for me..
cuz he was the big winner for that game..
think they're gonna continue with mahjong.. till god knows what time..
he's been spending all these late nights..
its really not good for his health... im serious..

ok.. too shagged to continue staring at the screen..
just a shout-out to my boy..
" i love you.. thanks for accompanying me today..
i really appreciate it..
and for tolerating with me all this while..
thanks baby.. "

okie dokie.. im going to bed already..
good night pple..

Princess Hyuain â¢ ranted
@ 8/20/2005 01:14:00 AM

8.19.2005

this is the day

"this is the day ( this is the day )
that the Lord has made ( that the Lord has made )
we will rejoice ( we will rejoice )
and be glad in it ( and be glad in it )

for this is the day that the Lord has made
we will rejoice and be glad in it

this is the day that the Lord has made......"

juz suddenly thought of this song while in the toilet..
sang it quite often in my GB days.. boy, i miss them..
all those running around and doing stupid stuff..
working hard to get all those badges and stuff..
but today aint about them..
for today is THE day~!!

haha.. should i reveal wat day it is today??
hmmmm... maybe not...
perhaps when i get back home later tonight..
muahahaha.. imma evil witch~!! lalala~

just hope that today would be a very very happy day for me..
peace~

Princess Hyuain â¢ ranted
@ 8/19/2005 06:07:00 AM

JunJin

JunJin sshi....
Saeng iL Chooka Hae!! =)

haha..

Princess Hyuain â¢ ranted
@ 8/19/2005 12:00:00 AM

8.18.2005

tired

*yawns....* wah.. very tired.. super duper tired..
reached hm at around 12.30am today morning..
i guess i was too sleepy or something.. i knocked my head against da edge of the taxi..
bet some of you guys have experienced it before and know what im talking about..
its so f***ing pain lor... i can still feel it now.. damn..

then i went to SIM today to help him return his book..
woke up at around 6.30am.. barely 6 hours of sleep..
practically had to drag myself to the bathroom to bathe..
and my breakfast was cold!! cuz i dint haf enuf time to heat it up..
juz took a small bowl of noodles and munched on it..
haa.. thank god i reached his sch before 8.45am.. or else he'll hafta pay the fines..
and its so expensive lor.. $0.50 cents per 15 min / per book ..
so if its like 1 hr, it'll be $2.. one day would be $48!! wth?!
and it was raining lor~! felt so cold and hungry and tired on the way to school..
luckily i brought my jacket along today..
if not, i think i'll freeze to death while coming to sch or in the lecture halls..

aight.. think im gonna go buy a char siew bun..
next lesson is going to start soon.. 2.30pm.. its already 2.06pm now..
shall slowly drag my hungry self to the canteen and grab my bun..
bye~

ps: tmr is the day!! cant wait!! *excited..*

Princess Hyuain â¢ ranted
@ 8/18/2005 01:56:00 PM

8.17.2005

('',)

hmm.. im still in the 'sleep' mode as of now..
eyes feel like shutting every minute.. and im yawning away..
but i guess i'll just write a small entry..

well.. yesterday my baby took a bus with me to sch!!
ok.. not exactly MY sch, but his..
cuz i still had to transfer bus somemore..
but i was really happy that he made the effort to come down..
and he looks really haggard..
guess all those late nights must be taking a toll on him..
haa.. i wonder when can we take a bus together again....

and then.. my sis complained on my use of language..
i mean, whats the pt of getting all chim and lengthy when you can do it short and sweet and it gives a less arrogant feel...
but i'll take heed her so-called 'advice' and write my entries in proper, to the best that i can, english and keep them "un-ahlian-ish" ...
sheesh.. she's a flaunting baballooney cow..

well.. off to shower now..
then its time to hit the roads and head for school...

Princess Hyuain â¢ ranted
@ 8/17/2005 07:08:00 AM

8.15.2005

monday blues

haa.. now im juz slacking in the library.. dunno wat to do..
damn miserable now.. phone low batt.. then still got another hr of doing nothing..
my sausage with egg muffin is still in my bag, waiting for me to munch on it..
i still gotta go down to the lab and get a lab make-up lesson..
then later tonight still need to go bugis buy some stuff..
classes end at 7.30pm.. dunno shud i take da bus anot..
but got bus concession leh.. reach there abt 9 plus only mah..
shops wont be closed yet right??
and my bowels are doing alot of exercise as of now..
think most prob would stink da whole toilet when i go there later..
then the photocopy shop so many people..
some idiots take so long to photocopy their stuff..
i only have ONE piece of paper leh.... cannot let me go first meh??
haiz.. and i miss my baby.. dunno where is he.. should be out ba..
or playing DOTA.. or sleeping..

oh damn how i hate mondays.......

Princess Hyuain â¢ ranted
@ 8/15/2005 03:47:00 PM

8.14.2005

'xiang' in hainanese

wahahaha~ juz got back from my granny's place..
jia happy.. cuz juz got praised by a neighbour..
ok.. so it wasnt so much of a praising.. but it really made my day..
so well.. we were in the lift.. with our neighbours.. an uncle with his mom..
then i was listening to my mp3.. mom was doing some 'neighbour talk' with them in hainanese anyway.. not that me or my siblings would understand a word of it..
ok, probably a few words.. but not the whole content..
so i wasnt paying any attention.. juz da zhao hu lor.. jiao uncle auntie..
then when we got out of the lift.. walking up the stairs..
mom was like telling me that the auntie said, "dua ye xiang la.."
i was like.. 'huh?' dun geddit..
then mom did a translation.. the auntie said that the older girl is 'xiang'..
and guess what it means in hainanese......
guess guess!!

give up??

okie dokes.. 'xiang' means pretty in hainanese!!
jia happy.. huishi was like 'wth' kinda thing.. lol..
its nice to hear it.. "wa xiang leh~" haha..

well.. anyway.. i went to see some things juz a while ago..
going there again soon.. gotta get a gift from there..
maybe get something for myself as well..
dunno lar.. see when can go sch late.. or leave early..
then go buy the item(s).. but muz use visa to entitle myself to a discount..
so prolly gonna use my campus card.. got 50% discount leh.. LoL..

ok lar.. now i juz gotta wait for da short one to finish her big business..
cuz i oso need to do some big business..
urgently!!

ciao~

Princess Hyuain â¢ ranted
@ 8/14/2005 09:52:00 PM

achievement

woohoo~ felt a great sense of achievement today..
why?? cuz i cleaned my keyboard!! wahahaha~
okok.. so ur thinking, whats the big deal??
well.. if you've seen my keyboard, you'd notice that it is damn dusty..
with lotsa dirt and what-nots in between the spaces and all..
so today.. i couldnt bear the sight of it anymore..
i took out my "extracting tools".. aka my fingers..
and pulled out ALL the keys..
then the job was followed up by the "cleaners".. aka kodomo baby wipes..
used a huge pile of it.. and wiped thru the space beneath the keys..
kaoz.. it was so damn dirty lar.. mind you, its not grey as in the colour of dust.. but there was orange bits.. lots and lots of them..
ewww~~
and i finally finished the clean-up.. in like 45mins.....?
now my fingers are aching.. especially from the extraction part..
argh.... shall go bathe now.. cant bear the fact that im germ-ified now..
toodles..

Princess Hyuain â¢ ranted
@ 8/14/2005 11:55:00 AM

8.13.2005

thanks

ooh.. before i forget and go to sleep..
this is a special shout-out to my dear friend, HONGJUN!!
this entry is to thank HONGJUN especially..
cuz he was willing to help me..
goes to show who your true friends really are..
a friend in need is a friend indeed..
thanks alot dude.. you were there for me..
even though its just a trivial matter..
aites.. hope to see you soon..

ps: i miss my JC classmates..

Princess Hyuain â¢ ranted
@ 8/13/2005 11:50:00 PM

heart feels so empty

haa.. im so bored right now and missing someone..
gave him a call not long ago but he was busy..
busy with what...? i have no idea at all..
only thing i know: his frens are over at his place..
so he's probably busy smoking, drinking, playing mahjong or DOTA, or watching soccer ba..
wanted to juz talk to him for a while..
but then.. the call lasted for less than a minute..
it was like.. "hello.. you busy ar? nvm then.. bye..." liddat..
guess he has no time for me now anyway..
wanted to just hear his voice also happy..
but i guess since his frens are around, he doesnt wanna talk..

well.. shall not dwell in self-pity.. here's something i got from an e-mail.. something that i think is pretty true..
just read on.. i know you girls would agree with me..

Guys always drink when they lose their love
Girls always drink to remember their past

Guys always want to be a girl's first love
Girls always want their guys to be their last love

Guys are always blaming girls when they are penniless
Girls are always happy when they receive presents

Guys always drown themselves with other girls when they are down
Girls always drown themselves with blames and sorrow when they are down

Guys treat girls as slaves when they need them
Girls give in to guys when they need them

Guys always go away when they are tired of the girl
Girls always wait faithfully for the guy they love

well.. i think its pretty true.. especially the last part..
hoo~ like i said.. i shall not dwell in self-pity anymore..
if he wants to talk, he'll do the calling.. i wont do it anymore..

and juz now.. someone asked for a loan..
now that i think of it.. dunno if i was really easy to cheat or what..
transferred the money over to that person..
hopefully that person wont run away with it..
if that person really does.. then i hafta ren ming ler..
jiu dang shi wo qian ta de ba.. shi ge da sha gua..
but till then.. shall not make any comments..
at least i know for sure that i've returned that person things i owed them ler.. wen xin wu kui..

okie dokes.. shall go sleep ler ba.. nothing much to do ler..
got a long day ahead tmr.. hafta do as many tutorials as possible..
and time would be wasted at the Miser's place.. sian..
and i guess i shall stop da "one week" countdown..
doubt that anything would be happening..
well.. good night to my blog-ders..
love you guys.. *muacks..*

Princess Hyuain â¢ ranted
@ 8/13/2005 10:40:00 PM

starving

imma hungry girl.. bfast was just 2 sandwiches and milo..
my sandwich was chao-ta somemore..
lunch no appetite cuz kenna complained..
dinner.. dunno what to eat..
sis still sleeping.. think she wanna go suntec eat..
dunno lar.. only noe dat im damn hungry now..
dad cooked instant noodles but he hasnt eaten them yet..
wonder should i just eat them.... *evil cackle..*
hohoho~ imma crazy and hungry bitch..
think imma gonna head down to mac's and get myself a mcspicy meal..
not gonna bother abt dat shortie..
or should i wake her up and ask wat she wants...
*ponders... thinks... contemplates... *
ok.. i shall be nice.. im going to ask her..
laters.. haa...

Princess Hyuain â¢ ranted
@ 8/13/2005 06:00:00 PM

complains

juz got scolded by a customer.. scold until i dunno what to say..
its not my fault i cant get it done for her tmr..
starhub doesnt do maxonline installation on sundays anyway..
i wanted to go down and install it for her tmr..
called some of my friends and asked them to help me with it..
finally got one who's willing to help.. but office dont have da wireless sets anymore.. warehouse is closed on the weekends also..
then she ask me go to those dealer's shop and borrow from them..
how can?! she's so unreasonable..
going to kenna another complain soon..
and i'm going to get my supervisor into hot soup as well..
shit.. how screwed up can i get??
just cuz of one bloody address.. juz cuz i forgot to fill in da address..
but why did no one inform me??
haa.. now juz waiting to get another complain..
bloody bitch.. i hope u rot in hell.. argh!

Princess Hyuain â¢ ranted
@ 8/13/2005 01:42:00 PM

8.12.2005

1 more week

haa.. just talked to my dear over the phone..
miss him sia.. i wont be seeing him over the weekends..
i'll prolly use the time to finish my tutorials..
going to my granny's place on sunday.. jia sian..
gotta see da mr and mrs miser.. AGAIN.. for the 2nd time in the week..

well.. he's gorging on his food.. said he had his lunch..
but im doubting it.. macham like kenna starved for the whole day..
i'll call him later.. let him finish eating and go bathe..
but i think he's prolly going to be playing DOTA when i call.. LoL..

well.. juz got up awhile ago..
no tuition today cuz she's got something on.. thank god..
i tot i was going to be late cuz i woke up at 7..
luckily she had some school work to do.. *whew..*
huishi juz got home too.. but she's going to NLB to study..
speaking of NLB.. i haf yet to land a foot inside that building..
probably go down tmr and have a look at the insides..
and i hafta go shopping for some stuff tmr too..

well.. one more week.. i'm counting down already..
guess u guys have no idea whats the occasion..
not telling you yet!! haha..
its for ME to know.. and for YOU to find out..

ok.. shall wait for customer to call me back..
cant wait to fill in invoice.. yay~

Princess Hyuain â¢ ranted
@ 8/12/2005 07:50:00 PM

new blog skin

woohoo.. new blog skin~ jia happy..
finally got it up after like 5 or 6 tries cuz my IE keeps closing by itself..
or rather, i kept pressing something on my keyboard that causes it to close..
but well.. i like this skin.. damn cute..

okie dokes.. shall go get some well deserved rest before tuition at 7..
shall blog more later on.. hehe..
ciao..

Princess Hyuain â¢ ranted
@ 8/12/2005 05:58:00 PM

8.11.2005

jason's birthday

wahaha.. celebrated jason baby's birthday yesterday..
not the actual day.. but was an advance celebration..
went to The One KTV.. jia shiok..
got the big big room with pool table somemore..
but i dint get to play pool.. juz keep singing and looking after people..
and i sang till my voice hoarse liao.. haha..

kept my drinking to the minimum yesterday..
tried to add alot of mixer to a little vodka..
but still ended up with a small headache..
but i was NOT drunk.. read NOT!!
eunice and diana were gone cases.. tsk tsk..
then darling kept drinking and smoking..
told him to stop smoking.. then guess what was his reaction?
pissed off.. its for your own good ok..?
then his drinks.. half vodka.. half mixer..
not like he's a very good drinker or anything...

haa.. anyway.. jason baby's leaving for Australia tmr..
bon voyage.. and remember to get me prezzies!!
LoL.. love all of you guys.. *muacks..*

Princess Hyuain â¢ ranted
@ 8/11/2005 06:45:00 PM

8.08.2005

mahjong session

lalala... just got back home from mahjong session..
no win no lose.. so not too bad..
darling lost quite alot..
and he was quite pissed off cuz i kept 'feeding' tiles to his bro..
zzz.. cant help it if i dont want da tiles rite??
he lost quite a bit ba.. then he buay gam wan..
ask his fren to go his place and take over me cuz i'm leaving..
wonder how he'd fare..... all da best, dear..

and then he force me to take da train home..
dotz... da train i took seemed much more dangerous than me taking da bus lor...
tmd.. a big bunch of lians and bengs boarded da train at bedok there..
then all crowd around me.. bloody hell..
thank god i had my phone and mp3 to accompany me..
keep playing with it.. listen to nice songs.. then bochap them..
and i REALLY thank god dat i have my mp3...
those bloody bengs were singing like nobody's business lor..
and they cant sing for nuts.. zzz...

tmr is granny's birthday.. wed is sticker's birthday..
relatives coming over to my place tmr to celebrate..
cuz from my place can watch da fireworks too.. quite clear..
then im meeting my girls for an evening rendezvous.. woohoo~
go have some coffee.. talk about everything and anything..
take pictures!! and juz spend time bonding..
not much time left for us to spend time together cuz avril's leaving soon..
then wed.. going to The One KTV to celebrate jason's bday..
hope da other girls would be going.. then can go meet them!!
bet there's going to be alot of alcohol then..
i hope i can restrain myself enough.. cuz the girls usually get drunk first..
then i hafta be the nanny.. cuz im da oldest ba..
muz look after them.. i hope my darling would restrain himself too..
if not....... well, he knows what i'll do.. haa...

welps.. for all you guys info.. im ok lar..
just some mood swings and getting too emotional at times..
but im alright.. si bu liao..
cuz i love myself too much to let myself die so young..
so many things i have yet to do.. so much stuff that is still waiting for me to complete them..
thanks to you guys for being there..
i love you all.. *muacks..*

Princess Hyuain â¢ ranted
@ 8/08/2005 11:43:00 AM

8.07.2005

reminiscing

i'm finally home.. thanks to no one..
i came home on my own free will..
was spending some quality time with me, myself and i at the 24th floor..
and i enjoyed it.. an evening reminiscent of happier times..
actually.. i think there were more sad times than happy ones..
flipped through some memories.. teared..
both teared and tore myself apart..

do you even know that its already been 7 weeks??
7 weeks.. 49 days.. 1176 hours.. 70560 minutes.. 4233600 seconds..
did you even know that....?
i bet you dint.. cuz you dont even bother..
and in 12 days.. its the 2nd month.. bet you dont remember..

i dont think im asking for much.. a few sms a day would be nice..
going out and doing nothing once a week seems good..
just spending time together.. i'm contented..
its not as if im asking for the impossible..
but you make the possible seem impossible..

you've distant yourself away from me..
hands are considered filthy to you..
communication.. seems like you dont even wanna talk to me..
you never fail to hang up on me..
and this time.. without even saying goodbye..
you want me away from you.. but you dont allow me to finish the job for you..
i've mentioned it oh-so-many times before...
but i guess its more of an ego problem..
probably you'll feel better if you mentioned it yourself..

i know what you'll be saying..
that i'm always assuming things..
but what else can i expect with such actions??
i only believe in what i can see..
and apparently.. everything else is more impt to you..

i know... im a worthless, broken rag doll..
thrown aside all the time.. into the dumps..
probably thats where i truly belong..

and i doubt you'll ever understand me..
or even love me anymore.......
so break the ice sooner.. and end my suffering earlier..

Princess Hyuain â¢ ranted
@ 8/07/2005 01:06:00 AM

8.02.2005

unworthy of your time

hmm.. sometimes i wonder how much time can it take to reply an sms..
45 seconds?? five minutes?? or one hour??
cuz somehow, some people can take up to 7 hours... and there's still no reply..
makes me really think about whether that person is seriously alive anot..
or am i not worth the reply...?
its not like i sent those kind of useless sms that we receive now and then..
but rather.. i was asking questions.. and seeking replies..
even when i send those useless sms, i get replies..
but i dont think what i sent was... you know..
i guess i'm not worth that 5 minutes at all...
its not as if 5 minutes of your time would make you a millionaire..
but till now... this very moment.. it has been 8 hours..
and still counting...
its quite sad ah..
things are seriously not working out..
maybe i should just end it once and for all..
some people just like to make me talk to the wall.. msn the wall.. sms the wall..
perhaps i should do the same too..
i dont think those people even care about how im doing..
probably even if im dead, they wont give a damn about it..
just like my msn nick: "i'm always making the same stupid mistake.."
some people have double confirmed that i have..
and i shall now triple confirm it..
im just a dumb piece of shit thats not worth a penny..
not even a penny for your thoughts..
useless.. dumped.. worthless.. and everything bad..

things are getting nowhere.. and you know it..
dont you think its time we stopped all this??
i had enough of it.. i'm tired..
i dont have the energy to carry on anymore..
just let me be by myself.. its better off this way..
i dont wanna be a burden to you..
and i have no wish to crumble into pieces in front of you..
you know things are never going to work out between us..
the grass is much greener on the other side..
for the grass over here, has already been brought out by the drought..
leave this place.. you'll find better things.. things more worthy for you..

Princess Hyuain â¢ ranted
@ 8/02/2005 06:03:00 PM

8.01.2005

making the same mistake again

its funny how some people can make the same mistakes over and over again..
i'm one of them.. and i just realised it today..
i should have never let my heart lead the way..
should have used my brain.. but apparently, i dint..
which is why i'm now slowly committing suicide..
with this stupid mistake i made yet once again..

i was never worthy enough.. just a thing that happened to be there..
i think Fate must be pulling a fast one on me..
leading me to where i thought was the most beautiful place..
the peak of the world.. where i can see everything from up there..
then suddenly, she pushes me down the edge.. without warning..
i'm pretty dumb huh?? letting myself be led by the nose..
not knowing the dangers ahead, yet i ventured forward..
plain stupidity.. others must think what a fool i am..
i think i'm pretty much a fool too..
slowly killing myself...

i feel so worthless..
maybe i should just jump down from the 25th storey..
and end this once and for all..
cept for my family n the girls.. i doubt anyone else would even care..
cause im not worthy of their most precious thing: TIME ..
i'm just a useless bum.. wasting oxygen by breathing..

Princess Hyuain â¢ ranted
@ 8/01/2005 04:44:00 PM